Hazards of SL relationships
I was talking to a friend some days ago about Second Life relationships, and that made me want to write about it in here. I have friends in SL who have SL partners, some are married in SL, some are single, and some don’t date at all. I am one of those who choose not to date anyone in SL, and I have my reasons for that.
I’m married in Real Life and I’m so in love with him. Why would I want a virtual thing with someone when I have the real thing at home? ;-) I’m in SL for the fun, making friends, designing things, exploring places and learning new things, but I’m not looking for any kind of romance.
People tend to take SL relationships less seriously – after all, it’s all pixels and bytes, but behind pixels and bytes there are real people.
Maybe your Real Life partner wouldn’t be jealous if you were dating someone in SL, but maybe he would. Your partner could even say he wouldn’t be jealous, but how can you (or he) know for sure? If you were dating someone in SL, maybe your RL partner could become jealous of all the time you spend in SL because he would imagine that you are always with the person, even when you are just hanging around with your friends or exploring alone.
Actually, TIME is a really important factor: if you are giving another person more time than the time you give to your partner. If it's a friend, it’s ok. But if it was an affair, a romance of any kind, then he would be losing that time and that attention to another person.
Also there's the problem of the other person. Besides the possibility of your partner feeling jealous, if you would date someone in SL and that person would fall in love and you don't, it would be quite hard. And I read people's blogs, I know how they fall in love and how they suffer. If you are dating someone in SL just for fun, be sure not to break anyone’s heart. Sometimes in a SL relationship, one is only having fun, and the other is taking it too seriously and falling in love.
These lines from a Chris Isaak's song come to mind:
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
That’s why I choose not to date in SL. And as I said to a friend, friendship is always better.
5 comments:
Great post! And you are so very true!!!! I have to put something like that as well in my profile!!
Good point! Great post! :)
Hi Eppie and Ana!
Thanks! I have had this on my mind and I felt I had to write about it. I think SL relationships are dangerous because they are so full of pitfalls, it's so likely that one or both will get hurt in the end. The best and safest way for it to work is when both are single in RL, and both are either only having fun and with no intentions of having a real relationship, or when both are in love. It's so nice to meet couples who are so in love with each other.
Well, in RL relations people also get hurt in the end despite who ends it unless who does it is heartless...
Everything you say here is true...I actually met my Rl girl now in SL..We were both single at the time and spent a year in game with each other before we decided to move in with eachother.. After a couple of months were didnt spend anytime with eachother in game and begane to grow apart...She met someone esle in game and has begun to spend her time with this man... It probley would be different if we didnt meet in game but we did..Now its to late..She is to emotionally attached to this man because he has been her support when things went bad..So what now? That the real question... Its not like there having sex RL .. Its not cheating physically...its all emotional...So do I let it slide stay with her and do my own thing or do I just leave and find someone who wants to spend there time with me..SL relationships will only work if you have no attachments and are willing to give yourself to that person...
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